‘In 2022, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He was only 64. We thought he had a year or two if he had the treatment. It was devastating, but we thought that he could take the treatment. But two days after the first radiotherapy, I went home. He wasn’t eating, and in the night my sister woke me and said that he was hyperventilating.

‘I work in a hospital, so I knew that something was wrong. I called the ambulance at 5 am. The A&E at the local hospital is very small and didn’t open until 8 am. The ambulance team told us that he was dying. I was so shocked. I didn’t know what to do. My sister was thinking to send him to the big hospital, but something in my heart told me that this is what a dying person looks like. If he had died on the road, I couldn’t have borne it. So, he stayed at home.

‘It was very peaceful. I had been reading my Bible and the verse that came to mind was Joshua 1.9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

‘I felt that I was responsible for my dad’s death in some sense, but there was nothing I could control. I left it up to God. I know that, in that time I wasn’t alone, even though I was. I know that the God of the whole universe had a plan.

‘It’s been a long journey of bereavement. I felt that no one understood what I had been through. I felt really low and lost my motivation for everything, even church. The guilt in me was there for a long, long time, but I know that dad has gone to a better place. I will see him again.’

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