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My wife, Linda, died four years ago

My Bible: reasons to believe in the power of the Bible

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'My wife, Linda, died four years ago. We’d been married for 36 years. In 2015, we spent an amazing week on Lindisfarne. When we arrived, there was a little bookmark on my bed. It was of Psalm 32.8, ‘I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you’. That became a very important verse. 

'Now, this verse is a constant reassurance that, whatever I feel, God knows about this and if I listen, I will hear him. I have discovered the value of silence in a powerful way. Before lockdown, I got into the habit of going on retreats and trying to listen to the Lord. I find that silence gives me the space to do that. 

'It’s taken me years to reach this point. I’ve never been a loner, but throughout my married life I was always content to be on my own because I knew I was coming home to someone. Since I’ve been on my own, I find being on my own much less easy, to be honest. 

'I realised that I have survived bereavement, and my own cancer which is incurable, by keeping active and getting out of the house. One of my faults is over-activity. Even now, I’m having a race with my daughter to see who can climb the equivalent of Ben Nevis, Snowdonia and Scafell Pike, by walking and running up and down stairs. I’m a bit daunted by Ben Nevis, because that’s going to be 672 flights of stairs. 

'But this verse gives me daily assurance. It’s part of me now. I don’t even have to look at it. I can see that I was overdoing it, and that there are things that I need to face up to and deal with. That’s the way I have got to go.'

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