Ever feel like you’re trying your best, but you just can’t seem to catch a break? You look at those around you and think they have it all: the attention and the recognition. All the things you deserve.
Perhaps the solution is to work even harder: put in more hours at the office, attend more networking events, become the best possible version of yourself.
Or maybe something else is at play here: the universe is officially conspiring against you. The stars aren’t aligning. Or perhaps you think God must just favour some people over others. And, right now, you aren’t making the top of the list.
Maybe you’ve reached the point where you’re asking: should I quit praying and take things into my own hands – fully commit to manifesting?
I want to introduce you to an ancient story that I think speaks to this experience. As we get stuck in, I hope Martha’s story creates space for you to process questions like: if there is a God, what does he/she want of me? Does God have favourites? And does God love me for who I am?
Let’s dive in.
Instead of sending you down a deep theological rabbit hole, I want to give you a very short but very relatable story about a woman named Martha. Why?
Firstly, I think it’s easy to read her story and think: yep, God clearly does have favourites. And, sorry Martha, but Mary’s one of them – and you aren’t. And maybe you’ll relate to that.
Secondly, the story of Martha and Mary offers a unique take on the question: does God like some people more than others?
Found in the book of Luke, it tells the story of Jesus, a spiritual leader living roughly 2000 years ago. But it’s written from Luke’s perspective – that Jesus was God in human form.
Whatever you make of Luke’s belief, this story at least offers an interesting angle for us to explore. After all, Mary and Martha weren’t discussing whether God picks favourites with experts in a brightly lit lecture theatre.
For them, this debate was a lot closer to home – literally, in their living room. And it even throws a messy family rivalry into the mix. Sound relatable?
Let’s see how it plays out ...
‘As Jesus and his disciples went on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed him in her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat down at the feet of the Lord and listened to his teaching. Martha was upset over all the work she had to do, so she came and said, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to come and help me!”
The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha! You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her.”’
At first glance, you might think yes; Jesus clearly prefers Mary over Martha. He lets Mary sit and listen to him, while Martha is over here struggling through a never-ending to-do list. Mary gets the attention and the praise, despite offering her sister zero support ...
I'll be honest: that’s a valid point. I think it’s easy to think Mary is the golden child, especially for those of us who relate to Martha. Whether it’s from God, our boss, our partner or our friend: we all want our efforts to be recognised, right? And, when they aren’t, it can leave us feeling like we just aren’t enough.
But there’s a lot more to this short story than meets the eye. And its message is a lot more radical than it first seems.
So, what exactly is going on here? Why isn’t Martha’s hard work commended? Is Mary really Jesus’ favourite? And what's next for Martha?
How would you feel if you were in Martha’s shoes? Probably pretty envious of Mary, right?
But to be fair to Martha, she doesn’t stew over the situation in private, giving Mary the side eye and sliding in the occasional passive aggressive comment.
Instead, she speaks directly to Jesus. She addresses how she’s feeling. She highlights how unfair it is that she’s been left with all the work – a bold move, given the society she’s living in.
For a moment, I’d like you to pause and think about Martha’s reaction. Does her response surprise you in any way? How would you have reacted if you were in her position?
Maybe you’d take your hat off to her. Honestly, you wish you had her bravery – if only you could stand up for yourself like that. Or maybe you admire the fact that she’s asking for help when she needs it – that's something you want to work on.
Or perhaps you want to vent at God, but you don’t how or if you should – or if God’s even listening. If you were to challenge Jesus over something in your life right now, what would it be?
Throughout the Bible, there are plenty of statements on the value of hard work, but I think this passage is getting at something else. Why? Take a look at Jesus’ response.
His primary focus is how Martha’s feeling – not whether the work gets done. Or how good it is. Notice how he picks up on the consequences of her work – that it leaves her feeling ‘worried’ and ‘troubled’.
Martha’s efforts aren’t inherently wrong: the problem is that it’s stressing her out and keeping her from other important things. It keeps her from loved ones, prevents spiritual nourishment, and even ignites family tension. That’s the real issue here.
In a counter-cultural move, Jesus commends Mary for focusing on what truly matters to her – going against societal and familial expectations in the process.
So perhaps it’s too much of a leap for us to interpret that Mary’s automatically the favourite based on what Jesus says here. Perhaps Jesus’ response is from a place of compassion. And it reveals how much he values both sisters – not one over the other.
I also think this speaks into the question: what does God want of me?
In this moment, Jesus doesn’t expect either sister to be producing or performing. He just wants to spend time with them.
Noticed how Jesus used Martha’s name twice? You might think it sounded a little harsh or unnecessary, but it ties into a larger biblical traditional. There are only seven times when God calls someone by their name twice – and Martha is the only woman.
In each case, it marks an important step in their spiritual journey – a deepening of their relationship with God. And it hints that Martha’s on a journey, which is only just beginning.
Unfortunately, we don’t know if Martha dropped everything and sat alongside her sister to listen to Jesus. Luke just doesn’t give us that detail.
But we check back in with both sisters (a scene told in John’s book) later on, in a scene when Martha calls Jesus the Messiah – the one promised by God. This is a huge moment in her spiritual journey.
We don’t know what happened in between these events, but I like to think that Martha has invested time into her own spiritual journey. I like to think she made time for the things that mattered to her.
So, do you still think Mary was Jesus’ favourite? Or do you think the sisters were just on different paths?
And what do you think the portrayal of Martha’s journey might reveal about the nature of God? Do you find it refreshing to see Martha’s understanding of God grow over time? And what might it mean that Martha didn’t have to have it all figured out before God called her name twice?
Wondering what else the Bible says about whether God has favourites?
Across this ancient text, the writers communicate God’s ‘favour’ over people. But what does it mean to be highly favoured by God?
This is less a comment on God’s preference for one over another, but more a reflection of their relationship with God in that moment, and how this relationship shapes the narrative that follows. It's important to note that the Bible doesn’t portray these individuals as perfect; it accounts for their failings along the way.
As such, these examples should be read alongside the overarching message that ‘God does not show favouritism’ (Romans 2.11).
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